*sigh*

in regards to this journal [link]

i suppose it was not meant to be taking seriously,(there was nothing to 'get' to be honest, yet it felt that nobody would figure that out) although it seems to only have stirred up a reaction in a number of people. maybe it was riding on the coattails of journal about being fed up with the all of this stuff.

the whole point of what i was saying was more or less from the perspective of an 'struggling artist' in way that poke fun at if and the same (although in a way i suppose i do fall into that category, although i suppose at the same time i am exaggerated about my own views)

i guess i expected one of three response:

1.) someone identifying with my views expressed as possibly seeing the humor how ridicules it was in many ways.

2.) someone getting angry from me pestering them about how they don't understand, although that was likely a bad ideas (except with i don't know why, but he just seems like a fun person to pester, maybe why he gets trolled often)

3.) getting supportive messages and what not, although i suppose they will think of me as an ass now


any who, i wanted to clear the air before it got out of hand

oh well

*shrug*

*shrug*

I hate the stuff I draw, it never turns out the way I want it to be.

I hate my "critics", since they never seemed to "get me" or only like the shitty old stuff.

I hate my "fans", since they seemed to only care about what they can get from me, or just fapping to this shit.

I hate other "artist", since they are so much more "talented" or "popular" than me, a useless hovel that should just rot away

I hate this site, since it seems the only people who get noticed are crappy idiots weeaboos that would likely skin themselves alive at the chance of becoming japanese.

I hate my "friends", since they just seem to patronize me.


*shrug*

I will never be awesome, I wasted my time even attempting to put mark on a worthless piece of paper with a shitty pencil


But then again, my own self-loathing has forced me to improve some if only a little, I guess we will always be our harshest critic. We always feel that we don't really get why people only like the old stuff when you can clearly see it is crap or doesn't really convey what it is that we were hoping to express. Seriously did this stuff even matter, I wonder. What is there to gain from this? I don't know, but I suppose at the least it shows how screwed my views are. Not that I care about that, if it is irrational compulsion to this *shrug*, if not then meh

man this stuff is too troublesome

not sure why i am writing this although, i guess it is one of those things that i look at and try to give my own insight on for various reasons.

any who, i guess i was thinking about the 2 main reason it seems people tend to view well any sort of work negatively no matter the genre really

1.) the "aesthetic" reasons, in which it is a subjective view towards something that will either draw them to it or have them feeling repulsed by what they are experiencing.

2.) the "technical" reasons, meaning that there is a lacking in fundamental skills shown in the work, that may ruin what may be a very appealing concept (horrible grammar, total lack of understanding of anatomy, etc...)

i suppose the matter of aesthetics is something that can't really be over come, unless the person involved is willing to make a compromise of their own interest or ideas in favor of making something may or appeal to larger base. i would say that is something that can be looked at several ways, some positive or negative (some may think of it as simply 'selling out'

although aesthetics are important to something being consider a success, although given the fickle nature of the masses it may not be worth trying to appeal them unless you feel that you fall in line with them

i suppose the matter of technical lacking is something that can and should be overcome with time and effort (good guidance also helps ) although, i guess this is not the main point of it of this journal, it just frames it i suppose.

well i guess i feel that it seems like the general view towards our niche falls into the fighting against both reasons for why people 'hate' the stuff we produce overall.

i don't see many of us trying to fight the losing war of aesthetics, since the majority here do not want anything to do with what do here as it is not appealing at all to them, but then again the same could be said any niche group here. but i do see the fact that there is an issue when it comes to technical skill. i don't mean that every thing here has to be "perfect" ( i know i would not fall into that category myself) but i do think that each person should take pride in what they do here, i am not going to point fingers since i think the last time i focused on one person the went 'really bad'

i suppose i do see really horrible stuff here on occasion, i tend to wonder what are the standards of those people. it may be just my own experiences that have me wonder. WHY?! how come they don't care about putting there best foot forward with this stuff? maybe they are, it is hard to say really giving the fact that everyone has their own talents and abilities. but it just seems weird to me is all

in the past and i would talk about the cause of it or why people seemed to not be as discerning when it comes approving of this stuff. i really don't have an answer myself.

i am not too sure what exactly had me thinking of this or what to really say about it

i guess i am just rambling, although it would be nice to hear others view towards it from all spectrums of our quirky niche

wanted to get away from the last journal,


I guess I have been wondering for sometime, why I have a following on DA?

I don't think it is so much a bad thing, but it does have me wonder why people like this weird stuff here. I don't think of myself as anything more than mediocre when it comes to this as well as art in general. Yet it seems people tend to watch, fav, and often leave positive comments about the stuff I put up here. Oh well, I wonder what leads to that.

Any who, it would be nice to know your reasoning for it all.

*shrug*

like the title says i don't care any more about this stuff any more, or at least not as much as i may have at one point.

i have been thinking about this for some time. i find myself loosing interest in focusing on a niche genre of work that has slowly been forcing me into a mental rut for some time. i knew it would happen eventually. i can't really say i am saddened by it all, to be honest i am just apathetic to it all now. so i feel that i should just stop it, i was never that active over here really, outside of the various stuff i posted here from time to time.

i don't know how people will take this nor do i care all that much, i am just bored as hell with this. i can't find myself really put forth much effort for it. in the past i may had more mixed feeling towards it, that it 'held me back' in terms of developing my abilities or that 'well people seemed to like this stuff and i do like drawing it, sorta'. i suppose it something most people go though with various interest. not trying to be an ass or drama queen or anything since i never really did this for the publicity or to be popular. it was just a weird interest for a guy that tends to have various weird interest.

oh well i guess i am rambling on with this, i guess i may still lurk or some crap who really knows (not really breaking ties i suppose just don't feel like working on this stuff any more)

to the 2 i owe trade pics: sorry, i will still try to get them done eventually not too sure when, to be honest my mind is running a blank when it comes to trying to start them.

to the guy i seemed to 'owe' request too even though i said i won't do them for him since the contest was flop: still not going to do them, meh

guest that is it

oh well